"I’ll put you in the trunk…
…and help people look for you like I care."

Yeah, you read that right. This shirt doesn’t just warn people — it comes with a whole imaginary alibi and a fake search party. It’s bold, it’s unhinged, and it’s probably the most polite way you’ll ever threaten someone’s existence.

Perfect for those with a dark sense of humor and zero tolerance for nonsense.

Product Specs – Tultex 202 Unisex Fine Jersey Shirt:

• 4.5 oz. of pre-shrunk, ringspun watch-your-mouth cotton

• Soft, lightweight, and made to wear when burying bad vibes (figuratively…)

• Long-lasting color thanks to reactive dyeing

• Ribbed crewneck + tear-away tag = clean look, no itch

• USMCA certified – made with legit American chaos

“I’m the friend you call… after the crime.”